Wednesday, December 18, 2013

dark in the light

Dark in the Light

Take the dark candle into the light
carry the sadness, remember the night

Sunshine will pass and again you will find
The darkness that lurks in the depths of your mind

The loneliness, pain, rejection, and fear
These negative thoughts you should keep ever near

They are not enemies, they are very real
They creep back again if you try to conceal

And if you forget, they will come roaring back
if you build walls, they will seep through the cracks

they are ever there, these negative thoughts
they cant be contained, and cannot be caught

they are like a child you must let wander free
coming and going like waves of the sea

embrace them and know that they are not bad
keep that in mind and you wont become mad

when they surface again, don’t be surprised
just know it’s a part of being alive

its best not to do these extreme up and downs
try to stay balanced, the center surround

because I am whole and I have many sides
I am but one being while on this ride

This journey through lifetimes will bring the unknown
The storms will be felt and the hurricanes blown

But I am still Me, and that never will change
I have to be ready to deal with the strange

And not get knocked over by winds on the way
I can be strong and I will save the day

I am the hero, I am the one
My soul gives me life, my cosmic sun

I cannot but love it, it is everything
It is the spirit from which I can sing

I must love myself, or I will be lost
This hurdle of life can only be crossed

It is one step closer to finding the truth
Treasure to hold, like a fountain of youth

So hold on to that center and do not let go
The good and the bad are all part of this show

But I will remain, so do not lose sight
Where pleasure meets pain, and darkness meets light

Hang on tight, cause things might get rough
Expecting from others is never enough

I am the one who will follow my dreams
My soul is the sun from which rays will beam

It comes from no other, but only within
So take a deep breath and let us begin

Starting fresh, I gather my strength and move on
I take my walking stick and we go along

Enjoying the nature, a world to behold
Gathering memories, stories are told

Infinite wonders are to be found
On this beautiful planet to which I am bound

Never forget how much beauty awaits
You can find out if you open the gates

Just let the world love you, don’t hide away
Experience what the world gives you today

Wake up to the now, and see what is real
These layers of ignorance, they only shield

The light from your eyes, which you want to shine
The love of this world is here to be mine

So idle no longer, and open your heart

Of this endless beauty, I am a part.

~ m.e.    12.17.13

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

lights in the dark

tonight i was riding my bike back home... alone through the woods, between villages. it was close to midnight. the only reason i went thru the woods was because my friend had leant me her headlamp... otherwise i would have taken the streets, because my bike light is broken and i wouldn't want to go through that forest alone without a light.

anyways, going thru the forest is cooler than taking the streets ^^

my friend/roommate hannah and i went through it the other night without lights... but we were together. was still kinda scary... but we were talking about how we like to put ourselves in scary situations sometimes like that, in order to push our boundaries... to challenge ourselves to be less afraid.  actually, scary situations like this kind of fascinate me, because i want to learn to have less fear, in general...

but actually, i was surprised tonight because it was actually super creepy even with the headlamp. it was chilly, and misty... the light was bright and i thought, what if i just saw a pair of eyes reflecting ahead of me, i would... idk...

but i made it through, to some dimly lit paths. so i turned off my light, and started to push my bike up the hill.  now i could see that the stars were shining so brightly :)  then when i was out of breath, i stopped to take a break, and turned my head around... and that very moment, i saw an amazing shooting star crossing the sky-- it was so long! so i closed my eyes, and made a wish <3

good thing i looked behind me right in that moment! ^^

then, since i was there all alone, i started singing some lines from our new Cyntrific song (not yet released) :

the dark of night reveals the stars
a distant future is all ours
with endless possibilities
the hearts and minds of everyone
embrace the whole world in our arms
it all revolves around the sun 


i was just admiring the stars for a little while... and then i kept climbing up the hill. i turned on the headlight again... but this time only so i could avoid stepping on the slugs.  and not even cause that's gross (which of course it is), but mostly cause i just don't want to kill them.

Friday, August 30, 2013


starting a thread about Syria... just ranting and adding info as i go ^^

this article (below) really helped open my eyes. i've been wanting to better understand the situation in Syria for a long time and now I feel like I have a better sense of what's really going on:

War With Syria and its Repercussions

Any person using the slightest bit of common sense would not assume the Syrian Government is responsible for the recent chemical weapons attack. For example, the UN is currently in Syria — invited by Assad — investigating a previous chemical weapons attack, since Assad blamed the previous attacks on the US backed rebels. It's possible that the most recent chemical weapons attack also serves to distract from the ongoing UN investigation that would have proved Assad right. 

I also had a really interesting discussion with the local organic food shop owner, who is Syrian.  he says it's obvious that Assad didn't commit the attack... why would he do this right when he invited the UN there to investigate? this reflected the info i read in the above article ^
he also told me some interesting things i did not know... that 60 different nationalities are coming together from all over the world to fight on the extremist rebel side (and in the second vid below, one girl says 150...) and essentially the US gov't is backing al qaeda, who is affiliated with the rebels.

here's an article I just found on that:

Syria accuses West of cooperating with Al Qaeda

anyways, really appreciate Luke's reporting on this... these two vids contrast each other:

and this one is like a breath of fresh air: 

wow this vid is incredibly touching:

I found this vid pretty enlightening... explains the larger geo-political interests involved in destabilizing Syria:

and here Corbett breaks down the hypocrisy of the US gov't in decrying the use of chemical weapons:

oh yea! this is great... politics i can enjoy watching ^^ 

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

CoLd_Friction - Last Star FT Margo Elena

i love this!!! and there's a nice story to go with it ^^

i think I started working on vocals with CF around January or February... and I didn't actually feature in a song until April (Broken Drum).  we tossed around a lot of ideas during that time (i got lots of good practice!), and i sent him quite a few samples... one of them was intended for a vocal edit on his song Snow Blind which was released a while back.  here's that song:

I did a simple vocal to go with it-- the lyrics were:

don't let me fall asleep
the fire's burning out 
it disappears

... the song kinda has that creepy feel (which i like)... and i was imagining that it was the dead of winter (which it was at the time) and we had a fire which we needed to keep burning if we wanted to stay warm, so that's where the lyrics came from ^^ kinda random idea i guess xP

anyways... he decided not to do the vocal edit, so this sample has been sitting around for idk, close to half a year probably. and yesterday he surprised me when he said that he's using them again! it's amazing what he's done... he pitched them up slightly (and only used part of the lyrics as u can hear, but i think it sounds great!), and he also used them for the white noise and the pads in the background!! which just goes to show what awesome skills he's developed by now :)  interesting thing is that he can do much more with the vocals than he could have when i gave them to him!

oh i also love this because i'm like soooo busy right now and don't have much time for vocals, unfortunately :c  i've been wanting to do another feature with CF though... and luckily, my hard work in the past is paying off now! i feel like some good karma came back to me :D

so this song is pretty special to me CF says he'd like to do an extended version... really curious to hear what he comes up with next! 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

my transitional situation

i'm starting to feel like an asshole for making ppl wait for vocals for so long  >_<

i'm just so busy and things r getting really cray

really excited about the collabs goin on now! and i'll finish them for sure... but it's taking me longer than expected.  i'll carve out some time to hit the studio, as soon as i get this job app out the door... it's taking me forever. music is also therapeutic for me, helps me deal with stress... so i want to still make some time for it. too bad i can't focus on it more tho...

cant take on new collabs now either...

i think the only thing i can manage for a lil while will be Cyntrific

work for my part time job also happens to be piling up now... great timing

soooooooooo... the plan is to move back to the States in October... i gotta get my shit together

gotta apply for jobs

sell my furniture


get rid of crap accumulated over 4 years

i think i'll have a goodbye party, invite all my friends and let them take my things

seems like the most practical thing to do (and fun)

give em a big ol' goody bag of stuff to take home ^^

i love music and i wont stop... but i gotta take a lil break.

amazing artists keep asking me to collab and i really want to... just have to wait 'til things settle down again...


Sunday, August 18, 2013

Jacoo ft Anelogram are on Sheep!!!!!!!

so happy for Jacoo!!!! he deserves it so much ♥ ♥ ♥ 
how awesome is that... both of Jacoo's tracks on Sheep have my vocals... one with normal vocals and the other reversed! love it... ^^

and so happy that Anelogram made it to Sheep, woohoo!!!! haha i get a kick out of that ^^
and i love this pic, it's so perfect... it's like me meeting her in the reversed paradise xP

(see post below for explanation on "Anelogram" =P  ) 

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Jacoo - A World Of Peace (ft. Charlie Chaplin and Anelogram)

I'm not sure if I can describe what this song means to me... 

Definitely never felt this way about a song before

it's like another level for me in terms of music.

Jacoo did something really incredible here... which just so happens to touch me very deeply. 

I cried a lot when I first heard the song.  it was kind of therapeutic... like the way, when you're talking to a therapist and they say something that resonates with you (dunno if u've ever experienced that), like you know immediately that what they're saying is true but you never realized it before, so you burst into tears... that's how it was for me, like a burst of truth...

and once that intensity wore off, then it started giving me butterflies... like how you feel when you think about someone you have a massive crush on... like your feelings are so intense but you don't know how to express them. that's kinda how i feel about this song, like no one's gonna understand how I feel about it... lol

i guess the only way it can get any better than this is if i actually consciously made vocals this good for a song so beautiful.  cause this song uses my reversed vocals, but that has a certain symbolic significance to me too, so somehow its just super special :)  haha, maybe I read too deep into things... my imagination runs wild I guess :p

my reversed vocals really trip me out cause... it's me, but it's not really ME... it's based on my work but it's not my art. it feels like a "negative" side of me, as in negative photography exposure. its a part of me that's there but kind of uncontrollable... like a hidden potential.

The first time CoLd_Friction used my reversed vocals in a track, it kinda struck me... so I wrote this story for his song:

In the future when we can visit other dimensions, I plug into a rare reversed paradise... the opposite of our default world. White turns black, bad turns good, and vice versa. It is the negative of everything, which is sometimes the positive. It is the side that we usually don't see and often ignore. My whole perspective flips… light shines on parts of my mind that are usually kept hidden in darkness. I see the beauty in ugliness, I find a happy side to sadness, sense bravery within fear, and feel the love in hate. I see signs of life within death. And I realize that normally, I can only perceive one side of our three-dimensional world… I can see the light or the shadow, but not both at the same time.

So that kinda sums up what my reversed vocals mean to me =P
oh, I call it "Anelogram"... my name spelled backwards:
anele + ogram = anelogram
^^ i'm a dork.

Anyways, back to Jacoo's song... it's interesting how it happened... maybe you could say that in a way, it was born out of Forever in my Heart  (see previous post) :) I had made a harmony for that, just an "ahh-ahh"... and idk, at the studio I thought it was ok but when i got back home and was editing, I thought it sucked. when i sent it to Jacoo I called it a "crap harmony" =P  He used it in Forever in my Heart anyways... the reverb made it sound good, lol xP  and so after we finished that song, he took this crap harmony and reversed it, and pitched it... and it turned into this beautiful vocal.

it's like an angelic, beautiful side of me :) that's how it feels...

combine that with the Great Dictator speech, which also has mega significance to me... and not just to me of course, it's one of the greatest speeches of all time.  (its also awesome cause it's Charlie Chaplin speaking, who's known for his silent movies... but less so for the most incredible speech ever in a film, ironically.)  I first heard it when I got into OWS (occupy wall street) in Sept 2011... and it definitely made a huge impression on me at the time, like OWS did in general... it turned my whole world upside down, actually.  such a powerful experience, the beginning of that movement especially... we were so inspired. it was this massive meeting of minds, of revolutionary spirits exchanging energy and ideas, motivating and teaching one another, and giving each other hope again... it was truly an incredible time.

anyways, the meaning of this speech is pretty straightforward... it's about striving for a better world... a world of peace, is a good way of putting it.

so then you add Jacoo's amazingly beautiful music in there... and the whole thing is like, too much for me to handle...

it makes me imagine that my soul is transcending this mundane level of existence, like floating up towards the sky and reaching towards a better world, towards heaven on earth, a utopia of sorts...

i'm not sure if utopia is truly attainable... but I am sure that life can be better than this, that society can be healthier... there can be greater fairness and justice in the world. that people don't have to go hungry, we don't have to fight wars or manufacture weapons or let people rot away in prisons.  there can be less violence and less suffering. less pollution, animals can be treated better, the environment can be cleaner. species can thrive instead of dying off, the waters can be purified, the air can be clean. the soil can be rich... and there can be enough food to feed everyone without pumping the ground full of chemicals. we don't need to rely on oil or coal or any non-renewables, we don't have to poison ourselves with nuclear waste... we can harvest energy from the sun, we can simplify our lives. we can live in greater harmony with the earth :)  we can treat people with respect... everyone is different and special but equal, and we all have value and potential, no one is better than anyone else. we don't need hierarchies, we don't need central governments or banks to control society... we can run our own communities... everyone is powerful and can contribute to society, everyone has a special role to play :)  even handicapped, injured or mentally ill people have something special to offer... no one is worthless.  everyone deserves love, equally.  everyone deserves a full and happy life... of course we cant always be happy all the time and things will never be perfect... but it can be better than this, for sure it can... much better. war, poverty, starvation aren't normal or natural... this is a product of a corrupted society, where some people are stealing the wealth from others... its not fair or right, and it can be corrected. and someday it will... i'm sure that capitalism has to die, and that a lot of the wrongs will right themselves.  there are brighter days ahead :)

i think about these things a lot but i don't often talk about them... but that's the way I think, pretty much.

so that's why this song touches me so deeply... if that makes any sense c:  when i listen to it, i imagine the whole earth, and my spirit hovering over it, kind of around it, like... almost praying for a better world.