Thursday, November 19, 2015

pure consciousness related thoughts, and meditation motivation

Some thoughts that occurred to me while meditating:

Meditation effectively places one's experience of conscious awareness
in closer proximity to one’s essence of consciousness itself,
the ultimate experience of which
is aligning and merging those entities.

Glimmers, waves, and immersion in bliss
offer an idea of what pure consciousness actually is--
that which makes us and drives us,
yet ironically
remains elusive to true comprehension.  

I think that the practice of meditation
strengthens the bridge, the bond between pure consciousness and individual conscious awareness 
thereby encouraging action that is in greater accordance with that very essence, 
effectively inviting a higher state of blissful experience within day to day life. 

Monday, August 24, 2015


I'm starting to do research on adoption... cause I think a few years down the line I'd like to adopt.

The decline isn't due to fewer orphans worldwide nor waning demand from prospective parents, experts say. It is due to rising regulations and growing sentiment in countries such as Russia and China against sending orphans abroad.

As international adoption rates fall, there is one country that is sending more children abroad: The United States.

As China slows international adoptions, the number of children filling its orphanages is climbing -- rising to 92,000 in 2011, almost a 50% rise from 2004, according to China's Ministry of Civil Affairs.

Costs -- which can be as high as $50,000 -- continue to climb. The wait can stretch for years even after an adoptive parent and child are matched as the adoption paperwork wades through the bureaucracies of both sending and receiving nations.

Stats on orphan rates internationally
It is estimated that 153 million children worldwide, ranging from infants to teenagers, have lost one or both parents
Asia is home to the larged number of orphaned children in the world; 60 million, at last count
There are 10.2 million orphaned children in Latin America, 5% of all children in the region

There are over 120,000 orphans in America, while another 400,000 children live without permanent families
27,000 children age out of the system every year

<-- So sad!! :(

In addition, most adoptions from U.S. foster care are free and any minimal costs associated with them are often reimbursable. For international adoptions from Hague Convention countries in 2010, service providers charged anywhere between nothing to $64,357, with half charging less than $26,559.
You don’t need to own your own home, be wealthy, have children already, or be a stay-at-home parent to adopt.
While slightly more than half of all children who enter foster care return to their birth families, there are still thousands of children who cannot return home. Of the 51,000 children in foster care adopted last year, 54 percent were adopted by their foster parents. 
In most instances, a person’s marital status, age, income, or sexual orientation do not automatically disqualify them from eligibility to adopt. You don’t need to own your own home, have children already, be young, wealthy, or a stay-at-home parent.
In 2011, 32 percent of children adopted from foster care were matched with either a single-parent household or unmarried couple. This includes adoptions by lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) families.
Experienced parents and empty-nesters are encouraged to adopt. In most instances, you’re eligible to adopt regardless of age, income, marital status, disability, or sexual orientation. You don’t need to own your own home, be young, wealthy, or a stay-at-home parent.
Placing siblings together is almost always the best thing for them after being separated from their birth parents. It helps provide continuity and protects them from suffering additional loss. Currently 23 percent of children photolisted on AdoptUSKids are siblings who need to be placed together.

The Hope of Being Adopted

Omg i cried so much

  1. Adoption and long-term fostering are both situations which can provide a permanent home for a child, but there are some differences.Adoption is a process which legally removes the rights and responsibilities of the child's birth parent(s), and transfers them to adoptive parent(s).
  2. Fostering does not provide the same legal security for either the foster carers or the child, and would usually only continue until the children and young people are 18. However it means the child can keep their ties with their birth family, who may remain involved in any important decisions being made about their child, and would usually be encouraged to have regular contact with their child.
KidsPeace (Indiana) 

Wow, here's a listing of children in IL that need to be adopted and their pictures:

I should volunteer with this place... 

Each year, thousands of children are adopted from overseas. Since 2003, the Adoption Center has specialized in providing medical and developmental care to adopted children. Hundreds of children and families have been shepherded through the process of adoption by our empathetic and expert staff. 

Ok that's a lot of info for now.

I have no preference regarding where the child comes from... what I'm interested in is to adopt where the need is highest, or where I'm helping to alleviate a problem... and it looks like of course, the need is high everywhere, but it's becoming harder to adopt internationally due to restraints created by the foreign countries... which is unfortunate.  I am fully open to domestic adoption, and after finding out the above info, it makes alot more sense for me... also considering that I most likely will not be wealthy enough to afford international adoption. Someday if I do get rich, I might put myself on the waiting list ;) 

Saturday, April 18, 2015

On our giant bus traveling through space, headed towards the future

So I was having an interesting conversation with someone last night, some real talk about world issues. We had some fundamental disagreements about the future of humanity: while I'm optimistic that humanity will ultimately evolve in a positive direction and that we can learn how to live in greater harmony with the planet/living beings/society, his opinion is that humanity is basically fucked and we are too deep in this shit to get out (he ascribes to principles of VHEMT... look it up, don't even want that link on my blog).  I agreed that we are facing crises and we will continue to face crises... but I still have faith in humanity.  He thought my beliefs are like some mythical fairy tale unicorns and rainbows worldview (I paraphrase)... and I can see how he would think that. The good thing is that I'm totally willing to be disproven... I'm willing to admit that I'm wrong, or to change my worldview and opinions, if exposed to the info/experiences that would show me that humanity actually is fucked beyond repair.  For now, I do think that our current systems that are in place can be changed, and will change, since they are fundamentally unsustainable... and nature, as it tends to, will force us into a state of greater equilibrium, which we can only surrender to if we wish to survive. And while I'm stuck in a human body, I might as well put my work and energy towards building that kind of positive future and alternative/progressive society.  

Anyways, we got into the subject of overpopulation, and he gave an analogy that went like this: the planet is like a bus and only a certain number of people can fit on it... and at this point, its way too crowded and has passed max capacity. I said that I agree somewhat with that analogy, but also fundamentally disagree. I started compiling some info backing up my opinion in an email, and then figured I should make this into a blog, since there's a lot of good info here:

Roughly one third of the food produced in the world for human consumption every year — approximately 1.3 billion tonnes — gets lost or wasted. 
FOOD WASTE FACTS <-- check that crazy shit! 

  • In developing countries food waste and losses occur mainly at early stages of the food value chain and can be traced back to financial, managerial and technical constraints in harvesting techniques as well as storage –and cooling facilities. Thus, a strengthening of the supply chain through the support farmers and investments in infrastructure, transportation, as well as in an expansion of the food –and packaging industry could help to reduce the amount of food loss and waste. 
<-- This begins to illustrate why I think it's not just about having too many people on the bus. It may more like this: the rich/privileged people get to take two seats, and the poor people have to get strapped to the roof of the bus, piled on top of each other... so those in "developed" countries get to live comfortably while other people get screwed. And they remain out of sight... so people can buy the sweatshop clothes they make, for instance, and not think about where they actually came from. Amiright? Anyways, this is why I think the root of the problem is less about the number of people and more about the fucked up systems that keep people oppressed, and encourage ignorance.    

Here are some more reasons why I think that... 
And just to be clear: 
The vast majority of the world's hungry people live in developing countries, where 13.5 percent of the population is undernourished. Hunger Statistics 
Ok so, the wealthy can just give their extra food to the poor, right? Wrong: 
Certain types of food “aid” (when not for emergency relief) can actually be destructive. Dumping food on to poorer nations (i.e. free, subsidized, or cheap food, below market prices) undercuts local farmers, who cannot compete and are driven out of jobs and into poverty, further slanting the market share of the larger producers such as those from the US and Europe. Food Aid as Dumping
The better solution would be if developing countries can build up their own local agriculture and economy...
A consensus is emerging that addressing the new challenges requires a Sustainable Agricultural Intensification (SAI) in small and large farms throughout the world. Simple operational definition of the objective of SAI is to provide sufficient, accessible, nutritious food, while enabling economic and social development in rural areas and treating people, animals and the environment with respect. 
Solutions for Sustainable Agriculture and Food Systems  <-- (looks like an amazing report that I'd like to dive into!)  
Back to the analogy... contrary to mainstream thought, I still believe there's enough space on the bus to fit all the people... if, among various systems changes, patterns of food consumption could shift: 

The livestock sector is by far the single largest anthropogenic user of land. Grazing occupies 26 percent of the Earth's terrestrial surface, while feed crop production requires about a third of all arable land. Livestock impacts on the environment - FAO

<-- So again, it's not only about the number of people on the planet that's causing problems... it's actually about systems and culture, about lifestyles and consumption choices. It's about things we could control, provided we have the awareness and motivation-- in many cases, the power-- to do so. 

Clearly our situation on the planet is extremely complicated, and I'm only touching on a subset of issues here. But I'm still optimistic! What am I missing? Come at me ^^  

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Secret of Calm

I get hit with a massive wave
like a brief tsunami
... sometimes not so brief...
a rumbling under the surface
shaking the ocean floor.
A disturbance,
or perhaps a shift towards a greater equilibrium.
The ocean below sends a signal:
THIS is unfinished
so tend to it
and pay attention,
because it remains unsolved. 
and every heart beat that sends currents of blood through my body
and waves of thought into my mind
and breath of life into my chest
reminds me of this force of nature that has no reckoning
administering a pulse, a shockwave
a reminder of the longing.
The vast, dark, imperceptible depths can't conceal
what exists within my essence
as if to whisper through trans-continental winds,
"Remember Me."

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

dark in the light

Dark in the Light

Take the dark candle into the light
carry the sadness, remember the night

Sunshine will pass and again you will find
The darkness that lurks in the depths of your mind

The loneliness, pain, rejection, and fear
These negative thoughts you should keep ever near

They are not enemies, they are very real
They creep back again if you try to conceal

And if you forget, they will come roaring back
if you build walls, they will seep through the cracks

they are ever there, these negative thoughts
they cant be contained, and cannot be caught

they are like a child you must let wander free
coming and going like waves of the sea

embrace them and know that they are not bad
keep that in mind and you wont become mad

when they surface again, don’t be surprised
just know it’s a part of being alive

its best not to do these extreme up and downs
try to stay balanced, the center surround

because I am whole and I have many sides
I am but one being while on this ride

This journey through lifetimes will bring the unknown
The storms will be felt and the hurricanes blown

But I am still Me, and that never will change
I have to be ready to deal with the strange

And not get knocked over by winds on the way
I can be strong and I will save the day

I am the hero, I am the one
My soul gives me life, my cosmic sun

I cannot but love it, it is everything
It is the spirit from which I can sing

I must love myself, or I will be lost
This hurdle of life can only be crossed

It is one step closer to finding the truth
Treasure to hold, like a fountain of youth

So hold on to that center and do not let go
The good and the bad are all part of this show

But I will remain, so do not lose sight
Where pleasure meets pain, and darkness meets light

Hang on tight, cause things might get rough
Expecting from others is never enough

I am the one who will follow my dreams
My soul is the sun from which rays will beam

It comes from no other, but only within
So take a deep breath and let us begin

Starting fresh, I gather my strength and move on
I take my walking stick and we go along

Enjoying the nature, a world to behold
Gathering memories, stories are told

Infinite wonders are to be found
On this beautiful planet to which I am bound

Never forget how much beauty awaits
You can find out if you open the gates

Just let the world love you, don’t hide away
Experience what the world gives you today

Wake up to the now, and see what is real
These layers of ignorance, they only shield

The light from your eyes, which you want to shine
The love of this world is here to be mine

So idle no longer, and open your heart

Of this endless beauty, I am a part.

~ m.e.    12.17.13

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

lights in the dark

tonight i was riding my bike back home... alone through the woods, between villages. it was close to midnight. the only reason i went thru the woods was because my friend had leant me her headlamp... otherwise i would have taken the streets, because my bike light is broken and i wouldn't want to go through that forest alone without a light.

anyways, going thru the forest is cooler than taking the streets ^^

my friend/roommate hannah and i went through it the other night without lights... but we were together. was still kinda scary... but we were talking about how we like to put ourselves in scary situations sometimes like that, in order to push our boundaries... to challenge ourselves to be less afraid.  actually, scary situations like this kind of fascinate me, because i want to learn to have less fear, in general...

but actually, i was surprised tonight because it was actually super creepy even with the headlamp. it was chilly, and misty... the light was bright and i thought, what if i just saw a pair of eyes reflecting ahead of me, i would... idk...

but i made it through, to some dimly lit paths. so i turned off my light, and started to push my bike up the hill.  now i could see that the stars were shining so brightly :)  then when i was out of breath, i stopped to take a break, and turned my head around... and that very moment, i saw an amazing shooting star crossing the sky-- it was so long! so i closed my eyes, and made a wish <3

good thing i looked behind me right in that moment! ^^

then, since i was there all alone, i started singing some lines from our new Cyntrific song (not yet released) :

the dark of night reveals the stars
a distant future is all ours
with endless possibilities
the hearts and minds of everyone
embrace the whole world in our arms
it all revolves around the sun 


i was just admiring the stars for a little while... and then i kept climbing up the hill. i turned on the headlight again... but this time only so i could avoid stepping on the slugs.  and not even cause that's gross (which of course it is), but mostly cause i just don't want to kill them.